Written July 2016
published August 2019
Loneliness! Loneliness !! why do I feel you? You're like a poison. With you, many have fallen off the cliff and got hurt so badly. Hurting of the heart, serious hurtful feeling.
Loneliness is described by the English Dictionary as a moment of solitude, being detached from others, isolation or lonesomeness.
Loneliness have led many into alcoholism, sexual romps, anger, depression, anxiety, you name them.
Loneliness! Loneliness!! Loneliness!!! You're so poisonous.
Sometimes in life, one is filled with the feeling of loneliness, especially if you're single and all your friends no longer keep in contact due to family commitments.
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Sometimes, I'm filled with the sort of rushing emotions that makes me crave companionship. I often feel alone in my flat. Other times, I'm content with the quietness of my surrounding. The moment of solitude fills the atmosphere and I love it. For starters, quietness allows reflective moments and if you're good at meditating or praying, welcome to my world.
Of course you cannot eat your cake and have it, as the saying goes, therefore you must give in to earn another. I always recall the voice of my sister 'you're not alone, God is with you'. So true, however one must have great faith to believe this also being mature does help. I'm a woman of faith and this has worked for me. On the other hand, humanly speaking, I must confess, I sometimes drift and worry about being lonely and what the future holds. I do think, God himself also understands our feelings.
Tonight was one of those nights when I craved the presence of a lover, not for anything serious really, rather being cuddled, having the loving warmth arms of a man around me... oh how good and soothing that would be.
It's not that often that I feel this way. Tonight hmm. ... I'm thinking about an imaginary lover who could knock on the door... where are you my lover.. I await your presence. Come on in.
Loneliness, makes you think you're all alone in the world.
Loneliness has pushed many a soul into taking irrational actions and decisions they would normally shy away from.
I've heard friends say to me.. 'I got married to avoid being lonely'. 'You must get yourself a man for companionship' and so on.
Then I ask myself , must I be married to fill the void in my life? Must I be in an unloved relationship to accomplish the desire that I crave for. I must be out of my cognitive reasoning if I should heed to societal and cultural pressures. I must be unreasonable to myself should I concede to cultural norms. Imagine how unrealistic the arrangement would be should I force myself into the unloved arms of a man for the simple reason of filling a vacuum in my life. Then I made a decision to be happy, yes that is it. Happiness is the key and resolution of my feeling of loneliness.
What next? Surely there must be something that could be done...
I must get myself a man/lover and of course continue to pray for the right man to come my way and fill the void in my beautiful life.
I made a decision to remain happy within myself.
A man will come at the appointed time, however, never would I allow myself to be used by any unscrupulous entity.
